Celebrating, Documenting Life
On an anxious Sunday morning, running with her hairband, thinking about what we forget to celebrate.
5:30 AM, Sunday. I accompanied Muew to the hospital for surgery — waited with her until they took her to the operating room on the fifth floor. The hospital was pleasant, full of natural light and greenery.
I went for a run afterwards, carrying her grey hairband. I felt more connected to it in that moment than to my own wedding ring. Music hit differently during the run, pulling thoughts I hadn’t been ready to face.
Somewhere along the way I realised that we’ve shifted into a phase marked by frequent hospital visits. I’m not sure when it happened — perhaps after our son was born. I thought I could handle anxiety well. Health and mortality, it turns out, are harder than I expected.
What I regret most is not having celebrated and documented our life more actively before all this — when our biggest concerns were which country to visit next.
She is always on my mind. I couldn’t manage any of this without her. The hospital room felt exceptionally large as I waited for the surgery to end.